ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Randomize
