We're like a lot better than the average bears
My room smells like vodka and shame
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
