if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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