Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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