tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
