are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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