Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You can't just leave with hair like that
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
