i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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