he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
