Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
