I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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