He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
