So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
