hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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