I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
