it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
operation harelip BJ is a go
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
