Acid is not a monday night drug
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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