Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
