Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize