Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
