I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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