I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
