She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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