So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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