some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
