About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
