omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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