I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
