under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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