And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
