the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
