Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
