he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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