No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
