lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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