I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
vagina is talking i cant
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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