I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
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