when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
