I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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