i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
