Well douche your snatch and let's go!
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
