love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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