Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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