I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
