Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize