All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
