She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
soo... how was my night?
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