We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
