just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
the night ended with taco bell and tears
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
