i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
