I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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