Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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