Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
