Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
