Sry I called you an 8
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
