But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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