Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
