Hey man sorry I got all grabby
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
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She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I need to align my fucking chakras
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