I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize
