mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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