Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
