Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you didnt know i had herpes?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
