You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
