Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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