One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
