The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
My life is pants optional.
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