she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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