I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
