I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
