making cat noises will not fix the situation.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
