i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
