im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
This is my gift to your gina
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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