You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
